tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post306331660613121023..comments2023-06-07T22:24:27.237+12:00Comments on Dereon @ Tamaki Primary School: Athletics DayTamaki Primaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00428165684837968134noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-88743121347745785082017-11-21T10:26:01.620+13:002017-11-21T10:26:01.620+13:00I like the way you used dialogue in the start of y...I like the way you used dialogue in the start of your recount.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-34359697952240416112017-11-21T10:25:51.130+13:002017-11-21T10:25:51.130+13:00I like the way you did paragraf and I like the way...I like the way you did paragraf and I like the way you did capital letters in the the beginning of your senses.you could of did some more detailAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-69860221655111668402017-11-21T10:25:50.680+13:002017-11-21T10:25:50.680+13:00I love about your story is you have lots of detail...I love about your story is you have lots of detail and describing words. And it is so excited <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-10398713253706701112017-11-21T10:25:49.445+13:002017-11-21T10:25:49.445+13:00Hi Dereon
I like how you Explained what you did o...Hi Dereon<br /><br />I like how you Explained what you did on Athletics day and what the other kids were doing. good job and well doneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-5147829538518575822017-11-21T10:25:24.826+13:002017-11-21T10:25:24.826+13:00Dereon I like the way you put detail and dialog in...Dereon I like the way you put detail and dialog in your story.<br />Dereon I have a suggestion maybe next time you could put all of your "I's" in capital Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-82080553224456891742017-11-21T10:25:24.488+13:002017-11-21T10:25:24.488+13:00Hi Dereon,
I really liked your recount. It flowed...Hi Dereon,<br /><br />I really liked your recount. It flowed so beautifully as I read it. I love the way you have introduced your setting by using a dialogue and how you explained each idea in detail by using paragraphs. One little feedback is that I would love to see you using capital letters for names and the word 'I' consistently.Well done Dereon!Mrs. Sharmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10558750051222980095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-83654413332449272002017-11-21T10:24:46.686+13:002017-11-21T10:24:46.686+13:00I have a suggestion read your work because I can s...I have a suggestion read your work because I can see a couple mistakes but good job Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-10864066497265714602017-11-21T10:24:26.645+13:002017-11-21T10:24:26.645+13:00Hi dereon I like the way you have used dialog and ...Hi dereon I like the way you have used dialog and heaps of detail in your story and you used paragraphs I think you need to use capital letters well any ways good job <br /><br />by maaniAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-32918270388392935792017-11-21T10:23:54.721+13:002017-11-21T10:23:54.721+13:00I like the way how you started with dialog in the ...I like the way how you started with dialog in the beginning of your story saying go Dereon said my mum.<br />I have a suggestion maybe next time you can proof read it and check your I's.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-29453160187726182942017-11-21T10:23:51.446+13:002017-11-21T10:23:51.446+13:00I like the way you introduce the characters I like the way you introduce the characters Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-34306158731013798982017-11-21T10:22:37.322+13:002017-11-21T10:22:37.322+13:00I like the way you have used the word confident an...I like the way you have used the word confident and how you have used dialogue in your story Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-61927133490808879752017-11-21T10:22:23.144+13:002017-11-21T10:22:23.144+13:00I like the way how you use paragraphs and dialogu...I like the way how you use paragraphs and dialogue to your story.<br /><br />I have a suggestion maybe, you could put more detail into your story.<br /><br />from Lily Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-50365840317190100822017-11-21T10:20:27.128+13:002017-11-21T10:20:27.128+13:00Wow this is so inspirational But make sure to Use ...Wow this is so inspirational But make sure to Use your capital letters in the right place. <br /><br />I can say 3 good things about your writing.<br /><br />1.Inspiring<br />2.Paragraph<br />3.dialogue Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7559195445758493409.post-78535935925697635512017-11-21T10:20:17.824+13:002017-11-21T10:20:17.824+13:00I like the way you did diglog in the start of your...I like the way you did diglog in the start of your wirrting.Nice work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com